In the last few years, online dating has become more popular than ever. More and more men and women are signing up to these websites and apps to hopefully find others who are up for some quick fun or long-term romance.
If you have not been lucky to meet your dream guy or gal just yet, online dating might help you out with that. With just a click of a mouse or a swipe of your phone, you can choose from among the hundreds of profiles who are also looking for their perfect match.
What should you do to make your online dating experience a positive one? How do you ensure that all parties are happy?
Do not limit yourself to only one archetype.
It is not uncommon for people to have an ideal man or woman. They have this image of what the perfect partner should be in their minds. Some may put physical attributes a priority, and prefer tall and blonde, or muscular and brunette; and others may look more into what their common interests are, and go for those who also love dogs, are avid travelers, or are music enthusiasts, just like them.
While there is nothing wrong with having a defined set of qualities that you are looking for in a mate, it can limit you. You are not opening yourself up to the possibility that someone who is the complete opposite of what your idea of a perfect partner is can be the right one for you.
Thus, to expand your pool of potential mates, do not be so caught up in all of these strict criteria of qualifications and characteristics. Who knows, you might fall for someone who is far different from what you have always dreamed of.
Keep your messages light-hearted and fun.
A lot of people on online dating sites and apps need some lessons on how to write messages. They come on too strong, thinking that that is the right thing to do to appear confident. They fail to realize that, most often than not, they just sound creepy, desperate, or needy, which is a major turn off.
When writing a message to your matches, you should keep the tone happy and relaxed. Start with the usual getting-to-know-you questions, such as what their hobbies and interests are, what the last movie they saw was, and so on. Just let the conversation take a natural progression to the more personal topics. If you force it, you will only turn them away.
Get cleaned up.
Some people do not understand the importance of looking and smelling nice and fresh when going out on a date. They think that because they have to go to the restaurant straight out of work or gym, they get a pass on wearing sweaty clothes and reeking of terrible odor. Do not be like them.
If you matched with someone on an online dating site, you should aim to make a good first impression. When planning when and where to meet, you should suggest a time and a place that will give you enough time to shower, change your clothes, brush your teeth, and be all neat and presentable. If you show up looking like a homeless person who needs a bath so bad, your chances of getting a second date will be close to zero, and that entire encounter might even end up on one of those nightmare date stories on online forums.
Be a gentleman.
Even though we are now in a modern era where women can foot the bill or open a car door on their own, it is not a bad thing to still do gentlemanly things. If you go out for dinner on the first date, you can offer to pay for the entire expense, or even split, if the other party insists on paying too. If you decide to go on a second date, you can do the same thing or come to an agreement that both of you think is the fairest way to handle it.
Do not go to the bathroom or step out to make a phone call when the time to pay for the food comes. Do not just let your date pay for everything. If you are broke, you should have not agreed to dine at a fancy restaurant in the first place.
Always be polite even if your expectation are not met.
It is not a secret that people upload their best photos to their online dating profiles to increase their chances of matching with others. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as these pictures are very recent ones, taken in the last couple of months or so.
However, there are some that use pictures from years ago, when they were younger or several pounds lighter. Doing that is so wrong because they are not being honest about what they look like at present. What should you do if that happens to you?
If you show up at your meeting place, expecting to see someone your age who looks great and is in great shape, based on their profile picture, and what you find is somebody much older and at least two times heavier, you should not cause a big scene. It is perfectly understandable if you get upset, but you should not let your anger control you. You can walk out quietly, if that is what you want. Or, you can approach them to politely let them know that you have decided to not proceed with the date due to your unmet expectations, before you leave.
Let them know that you enjoyed the date.
Not hearing back from your date is one of the worst things to experience, especially if you really had fun spending time with them. It is not a great feeling to have to wait for them to call or text you back, and you cannot help but feel that you did something wrong.
If you had a blast, do not hesitate to let them know that. That is a great gateway to start making plans up for a second date.